"Achieving Clarity", page 78,#3 The directions say to review these sentences and replace the vague, impressionistic words with more specific information. The sentence #3 is Failure to purchase this will have a negative impact. I would change this sentence to If I don't buy this it will cost me more money in the future.
"Achieving Clarity", page 78 #2 The directions say to review these sentences and replace the vague, impressionistic words with more specific information. The sentence #2 is The machinery will replace a flawed piece of equipment in our department. I would change this to We will get a new fax machine for the office on Monday.
"Avoiding Sexist Language" Page 120 #1, The directions say to revise the following sentences to avoid sexist language. Sentence #1 says All the software development specialist and their wives attend the conference. I would change it to All the software development specialist and their spouses attend the conference.
"Avoiding Sexist Language" Page 120 #4 The directions say to revise the following sentences to avoid sexist language. Sentence #4 says The president of the corporation, a women, met with her sales staff. I would change this to The president of the corporation met with the sales staff.
"Reducing Sentence Length to Achieve Conciseness" Page 79, #1 The directions say to revise the sentences using the techniques suggested in this chapter. Sentence #1 says In regard to the progress reports, they should be absolutely complete by the fifteenth of each month. I would change this to the progress reports need to be completed by the fifteenth of each month.
"Reducing Sentence Length to Achieve Conciseness" Page 79, #2 The directions say to revise the sentences using the techniques suggested in this chapter. Sentence #2 says I wonder if you would be so kind as to answer a few questions about your proposal. I would change this to could you answer a few questions about your proposal?
"Achieving Clarity", page 78 #2 The directions say to review these sentences and replace the vague, impressionistic words with more specific information. The sentence #2 is The machinery will replace a flawed piece of equipment in our department. I would change this to We will get a new fax machine for the office on Monday.
"Avoiding Sexist Language" Page 120 #1, The directions say to revise the following sentences to avoid sexist language. Sentence #1 says All the software development specialist and their wives attend the conference. I would change it to All the software development specialist and their spouses attend the conference.
"Avoiding Sexist Language" Page 120 #4 The directions say to revise the following sentences to avoid sexist language. Sentence #4 says The president of the corporation, a women, met with her sales staff. I would change this to The president of the corporation met with the sales staff.
"Reducing Sentence Length to Achieve Conciseness" Page 79, #1 The directions say to revise the sentences using the techniques suggested in this chapter. Sentence #1 says In regard to the progress reports, they should be absolutely complete by the fifteenth of each month. I would change this to the progress reports need to be completed by the fifteenth of each month.
"Reducing Sentence Length to Achieve Conciseness" Page 79, #2 The directions say to revise the sentences using the techniques suggested in this chapter. Sentence #2 says I wonder if you would be so kind as to answer a few questions about your proposal. I would change this to could you answer a few questions about your proposal?